Apprenticeship
“Thank you Rosie! You have a such a gift in holding space and in particular this space.”
It is really lovely to receive this kind of feedback, confirming how aligned I feel committing to, preparing for, hosting, and reflecting on the monthly birth story circles.
During my 9-month long course on Postpartum Care, Rachelle of @innatetraditions spoke elaborately on the necessity of apprenticeship and not simply taking a course. At first I panicked, because at 40 with 2 young kids, how was I going to put in the time required for proper apprenticeship? However, I spun it around. In my 40 years (now 43) what have I been apprenticing for, and what could I start offering based on that?
If I had to summarize that, I’d say it’s that no matter how hard it feels while I’m in it, there are ALWAYS wisdom, gems and gifts to be found in wounds. I end up becoming more whole from walking through the fire of challenge. There are often beautiful gifts for our communities in our wounds (once they are scars). On top of that, no matter how deep I go, I end up orienting back to repair, beauty and presence, I think by grace. Because of this, it is becoming easier to embrace difficulty, or perhaps the intensity isn’t different but the length of the process is.
Credit: David Martins (pixels)
Another aspect is that I am better at the art of holding space and hosting circles than I realized. It is actually not new to me. I didn’t realize how many circles I’ve actually sat in (as they were called classes), and that I’ve been lucky to sit in the presence of some phenomenal space holders, like Rachelle Garcia, Kimberly Ann Johnson and Master Dhyan Vimal. Suddenly it makes sense that this feels easeful for me.
Lastly, I devour books that in particular make sense of my lived experiences or that teach me how to remain more present during in particular tough experiences. These days I have more discernment about the teachers, mentors, and influencers in my life - do they have lived experience? Are they 1 step ahead of me, or much more, or are they talking from the wound rather than the scar? It is mostly because I realized how different it is to be a parent compared to what I thought it would be before having children, and then again how incredibly different it is going from 1 to 2 children. I ate some humble pie, realizing that I really cannot speak of anything other than what I’ve experienced myself.
I used to love mentors and coaches that would tell me where I’m at, where I need to get to, and how. Please tell me what my problems are and how to fix them. For bodyworkers, please simply fix my body. Nowadays, that is a lot more nuanced, as there is medicine in asking for help and simply be on the receiving end, especially as a mother. Overall, I now at best want help remembering how to get myself back in my drivers seat, which basically means holding space for me to figure it out.
From this foundation, I’ve felt confident offering both my one-on-one birth debrief as well as my monthly birth debrief group circles. What I’m sharing comes from my own lived experience and apprenticeships.
I hope if you are drawn to either the one-on-one or circle, that you feel welcome to reach out for more information or to sign up. All of you, wherever on your journey, is welcome.
